JAIME ALBERTO FLAKS
Known to many as Mr. Flaks, known to friends as Jaime, known to his wife of 53 years as Alberto (because he met her dancing and was afraid to give his first name), known to his kids as PAPI or PA, known to his elite eight grandchildren as ZAYDE.
I was fortunate that he was my dad…and as a close family, I spoke to him at least 2 times daily for the past 43 years.
My dad was a great man as witnessed by the mourners in this room here to pay tribute. His heart was full of compassion for those less fortunate, persons or animals. He would frequently pick up sick, abandoned or injured animals and bring them home to be nursed to health. Most became residents of 3520 Courtleigh Drive. Dad never met a creature he didn’t love.
As a child, when we would go to the fish store to have pets, he always bought the feeder goldfish, sparing them the agony of being devoured alive by other fish. Our house was a zoo of sorts…we had pigeons, dogs (rarely less than 3), cats, indoor and out, guinea pigs, mice, birds of every feather, you name it. He had no special skills to treat them, just a large heart filled with compassion.
Growing up above a grocery store in Highlandtown, we had a homeless man living on our stoop. He wore my father’s old clothes and never seemed to bother us. While others would call the police to harass him out of the neighborhood, my dad found this gentle man just needed help getting by…he was no danger. Once a day around 11 o’clock, he would come in and my father would fix him a huge sandwich piled high with bologna, turkey, cheese, liverwurst, and the works. It most likely represented his only meal of the day. On his way out, he would go to the register and pull out spare change to “pay” for his meal. My mother would ring him up and tell him to have a nice day…knowing we would see him later in the day when he came to roost on our doorstep. Vividly, I remember crying out in rage “HOW CAN YOU TAKE THIS MANS MONEY?” The answer was surprising and at age 6 taught me a valuable lesson I still carry on today. Dad said, “this man wants to keep the little dignity he has and it makes him feel as though he is contributing instead of begging”. We called this man “the hobo” and for 35 years, one of very few pictures in dads wallet was a picture of dad with his arm around the hobo. This was Jaime A. Flaks. As a kid, I brought home a crew of misfit friends who were just like me. His joke taken from a Lucille Ball episode was that I was the friend of the friendless. I would get upset when he said this, but in retrospect dad, you too were the friend of the friendless and what better kind of person to be.
Dad got sick a few months ago and a rich rewarding life turned to agony. The physical pain was the worst I have ever witnessed…I pray no one ever has to bear what he did. To top it off, the mental anguish was worst. He loved the world and life and the mere thought of not seeing his grandchildren grow up left him devastated. He was only able to muster 1 or 2 practical jokes a day compared to countless.
When we found out he was sick, we did what all jewish people do. We started to eat and eat we did. The list includes mothers, corner stable, G and M, blue point, sabatino’s, tambers, outback, black olive, sonny lee’s, famous daves, uncle bills pancake house in cape may and many many others. He even discovered white pizza. We crammed 20 years of life into 3 months. We saw him daily, joined him for all doctors visits and sat with him while he received his chemo. He knew too much to think he’d pull through.
Dad was a straight shooter, a mans man. Throughout his life, he was concerned that he never “did” anything and had no legacy. I disagree. His legacy is witnessed here today. DAD, you raised three conscientious men, with strong Jewish and humanistic, caring values, as well as a strong work ethic. And we are raising your precious 8 grandchildren the same way. You were truly an amazing dad, a great friend, terrific husband, and the best grandfather any kid could want.
In remembering Jaime or PAPI or Alberto or ZAYDE or Mr. Flaks…do a compassionate deed for a fellow man or any of gods creatues and you will serve his memory well.
We will always remember you dad…your legacy is secure.
John Flaks
09.30.2008
No comments:
Post a Comment